THE NEW WAY: LIFE IN THE PLAYGROUND Leaving the Sandbox for the Swings, by Deborah Antich.
I recently had a conversation about dealing with difficult people. A woman said, “I’m working on moving forward, creating a happy, peaceful space around me, but have a coworker who’s like a black cloud! She comes to my cubicle and spouts her BS about whatever’s irritating her that day, and I feel drained and exhausted. I used to get into it with her, but I’m ready to move on. What can I do? I feel trapped!”
Who hasn’t felt that way? Look at a couple of key points in the story:
- “We work together.” Exactly! Work together, but when she starts talking about personal issues, redirect. Let her know you have a certain amount of time to dedicate to the conversation. “I need to work on this project, so we have fifteen minutes.” Setting a time frame makes work the focus. Redirecting works with dogs and toddlers – it can work with coworkers, too.
- “I used to get into it with her.” That’s important. You used to complain together – but now you’ve moved on. Did you let her know that? When she complains, she’s expecting more of the same. You need to let her know you can’t do that anymore. Sound harsh? It can. It can sound judgmental too, so watch the approach. Instead, invite her along for the ride. Show her how different things can be once you let go of negative, annoying stuff by sharing positive experiences. You don’t have to become best friends – just keep it positive at work.
Lastly – recognize and accept. She may not want to come with you. In fact, she may resent the hell out of you for ditching her, leaving the sandbox for the swings, striking out for new, richer, possibly scary experiences.
When you’re ready to move forward, you can’t let someone hold you back. She may stay in the sandbox and badmouth you to other kids – or, one day, while enjoying the breeze in your face, you may see her on the swing next to you.
When you leave the sandbox, you don’t know – and don’t have to. You just have to do what works for you, and not let someone else hold you back.
Deborah Antich is a clairvoyant channel, intuitive consultant, and creator of the Traveling Psychic Supper Club. (512) 368-8428, www.travelingpsychicsupperclub.com