by Lori Anderson
Did you ever think when you said, “I do” that you would one day be saying, “I don’t”? I’m guessing probably not. Sometimes, however, there’s another plan for us in life.
During a divorce, you may feel like you’re living in the Twilight Zone or a foreign land. Your life can feel totally upside down. The pain is excruciating. Crushing. Love is a strong emotion and it’s being ripped apart. Your commitment is being ripped apart.
When a marriage ends, and you’re left standing alone, there’s a natural shakedown that occurs and you’re left staring face-to-face to what’s truly important in your life.
There’s a gift in that. Transformation often happens during life’s greatest moments of despair. Going through a divorce can be a deeply healing experience, with rewards rich and empowering on the other side. IF you allow it to be…
It really comes down to choice. There’s the hard way and there’s an easier way.
What if you chose to have grace for yourself during this process? And grace for the situation? Even grace for your ex?
Grace is about overcoming, with love. It’s about seeing a negative situation and understanding that it’s up to you to inject love and forgiveness, even when you know it might not change things. Grace is about acceptance, and letting go of preconceived expectations and judgments. Grace is about choosing to see things through a lens of love and light.
You may be thinking, “Yes, but when it comes to divorce, nothing about it feels naturally graceful.” And you’re right, it doesn’t feel graceful, unless we intentionally and consciously infuse grace into the situation. You get to deliberately choose how you are going to handle the situation, how you’re going to respond, how you’re going to move forward.
Whether you made the choice to leave the marriage, or your ex did the exiting, make the conscious choice to leave with dignity. Take the high road. Make choices that you’ll be able to feel good about when you look back over time.
In Divorce with Grace ~ A Book of Hope & Healing, G.R.A.C.E. is an acronym that describes the expedited healing process one can travel through during the dissolution of a relationship.
GRIEVE: Plunge into the thick of the pain and deal with it even when it’s uncomfortable. Be cognizant not to shove your feelings under the proverbial rug, only to find them come back and hit you with a vengeance later, disrupting your life all over again. Take the time to mourn and heal. Be kind and patient with yourself.
RELEASE: Let go. Embrace the concept of letting go of that which no longer serves your highest good. As the great mythologist, Joseph Campbell, says, “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”
ALLOW THE GOOD TO GUSH INTO YOUR LIFE: A whole lot of goodness is here for you. Give yourself permission to have it. Allow yourself to move forward with exited anticipation for what amazement lies ahead in your life.
CREATE YOUR LIFE BY DESIGN: This is YOUR time to renew, start again, and create your life by design. Get clear on what you really want in this next chapter of your life. Do not ignore the calling inside of you.
EVOLVE: What are the gifts? How has this served your highest good? Will you be bitter or better? Choose to be better. Commit to becoming your best version of you.
Your new beginning is going to be exciting, but focus on healing first. I’ve witnessed far too many people who have been through divorce, some for many years, who are stuck in a rut and living only half a life because they haven’t taken the time to heal. Put your attention on the healing steps of GRACE so that you can get on to the other side quicker and live a richer and juicier life. And one day you will find yourself seeing the light after divorce, and discover that divorce can actually be a Fantastic Evolutionary Experience. IF you allow it to be…
In Divorce with Grace: A Book of Hope & Healing, there are three powerful tools to take with you on the journey toward healing. To learn about these tools as well as other helpful exercises and healing techniques, go to www.DivorcewithGraceBook.com for the free chapter download, “Feel It, Deal with It, Heal It.”